Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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