my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize