Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
