Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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