Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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