i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
