and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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