She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
