i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
