I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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