I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
