you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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