the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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