That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
