he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
