he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
