She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
