Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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