I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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