Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
