Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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