can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
