so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD