Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only. http://tfl.nu/udpk
  Replies (33) Good night (4736) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later http://tfl.nu/a1zy
  Replies (19) Good night (8722) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/l3m4
  Replies (8) Good night (3613) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything. http://tfl.nu/9u4l
  Replies (4) Good night (2796) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said. http://tfl.nu/j7o9
  Replies (7) Good night (851) Bad night (2044)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1841) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself. http://tfl.nu/3gaw
  Replies (46) Good night (2447) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (1751)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday. http://tfl.nu/vfie
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five http://tfl.nu/ynd3
  Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something. http://tfl.nu/lajo
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap http://tfl.nu/hboz
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender? http://tfl.nu/he73
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks http://tfl.nu/jxld
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (115)

Randomize