We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!