I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy