hell yes lets make some ravioli
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
