dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize