WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
