she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize