I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish you could order shots online.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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