fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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