is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
