come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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