I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
