operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
