I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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