so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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