i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
