I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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