I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
