Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
