if only i could text you this smell
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
