come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
