so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My feet surprised me
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