so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
