margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
