but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
