like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
