There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
