Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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