I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
