My friends, they love my intelligence
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
