nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
