love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
