You work out of a Hotel?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
