He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
