Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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