he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize