I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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