I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize